Loading... Is it true that women tend to pick dates and mates with similar traits to their own father?

From a purely genetic-biological perspective I think women are guided (to a certain extent) by nature to seek out males with the strong attributes -or at least those similar to those of their fathers. Subsequently, women are also guided by nature to "cross-out" or disqualify those weaker attributes that don't help perpetuate the species. We are, of course, unaware of this when we are dating, for this is species survivalist drive at its most fundamental. But unlike most other species, the human female instinct is compromised -or helped, whichever the individual case may be- by the addition of psychological and spiritual components in making our final choice of a mate. A man can't just qualify in the strict biological sense of things but meet those requirements that the psyche and spirit needs and/or seeks. Often these needs are attributes that make for a man utterly different in every practical way from the father.

This is not true in all cases. For example,if a girl had to experience her dad abusing her mother, why do you think she would consider a man with similar traits to be her mate. On the contrary, if her dad was a loving, nurturing and kind to her and her mother, he would certainly be looked upon as an example of the kind of man she would like to meet.

This is a good question, making me ponder many different relationships. It is also a hard question to answer because I have many examples of women who did not marry men with similar traits of their father. I also have just as many examples of women who married men just like thier Dads. I think generally, yes, women do, consciously or not, look for men who are similar to their fathers. Maybe its just one big cycle continually repeating itself. If women end up turning into their mothers, doesn't it make sense that their mates would have similar traits of their fathers?

My husband takes my daughter to the Daddy-Daughter Dance once a year. They dress up and go out to dinner. It is a very important date in our house! It is important to me for my daughter to grow up expecting not to be treated as a princess, but to desire her dates to treat her with respect and good manners. Her Dad is modeling that behavior for her. She is only 9 now, so we'll see what who is coming to our door when she is 16!

I never believed so, but then I realized that my ex partners had similar traits to my father. I have seen this pattern with some of my friends as well.

Simple question yet difficult to answer. :) Human race has evolved to such an extent that it has become somewhat impossible to generalize things. Being a witness to a drastic change that every man and woman on this planet has undergone, consciously / subconsciously, over the last decade, I have come to the conclusion that every human being is different. Until a decade ago, I could have safely categorized women in one group and men in the other as far as differences in psychological framework are concerned, but as of today, I have to say every human being (whether a man or a woman) is different from the other.

So to say, every woman is different and thinks differently from (even) her female counterparts. A lot depends on her life experience, her childhood, her bringing up etc. For instance, a woman who might have been abused by her father in her childhood would never want to date a man who reminds her of her father. However, she might have a tendency to attract the same type of men over and over again but that's another side of the story. Perhaps something to do with law of attraction.

On the contrary, if a woman remembers her father as a very gentle, upright and principled man, she might want to have the same qualities in her mate. But again, there are women who think such men are boring and may look for mates who have an exciting and adventurous personality. (quite likely that such women may end up being disappointed, heart broken or cheated in the end but at least they would have tried someone different :)) It all depends on how much clarity a woman has in her thoughts and ideas regarding a man she wants in her life.

It might seem that I didn't answer the question directly but in today's scenario....is it possible to answer any question without considering the flip side of it? :)

I think women do this on purpose or sometimes unconsciously. For me, my father is a very disfunctional and complicated man. I love my father and many things about him, but when I caught myself dealing with a man who reminded me of my father in a negative way, I let things run their course and got rid of him!!! I went through a lot and still go through a lot with my father and I refuse to go through with it with another man. I look at what my mother went through and everything she sacrificed for me and my siblings and I have to break the cycle.

This is probably subjective as much as people tend to agree. If a woman's father was largely absent in her life, there is not much comparison for her to make of a potential mate to size up against her own father. The natural instinct for procreation and survival leads to people trying to pick the strongest out of the pack in the game of survival of the fittest.

For women who were lucky enough to have good dads, they are likely to look for a mate that models after their dads because that is their idea of a good man and that good man is likely to rise their young, nurture and protect them the same way she was raised as a child.

However, for women who had abusive fathers, fathers who shirk responsibilities, or women who grew up in single families may not be as likely to pick a mate that mirrors their fathers either because they know that those men are detrimental to future family life or simply because they didn't have a father to model after.

Freud would say yes. The Electra complex, I believe it's called. (The analogous male experience is the Oedipus complex.) A disturbing concept, no?

A recent cultural reference to this is in the Big Bang Theory. Howard is engaged to Bernadette, who sounds creepily similar to his mother when she yells at him.

As much as it creeps me out, I think it is true, to a certain extent.

That might be true for heterosexual women...but not for the rest of us...certainly not me. And no, I also didn't choose someone like my mom...lol.

I think it depends on the relationship you have with your father. If he is someone you look up too or have a decent relationship with then yes I think so. For me there are some qualities I want in a man that are like my fathers, but I wouldn't want someone just like him. My dad and I are hard headed, I don't need someone hard headed it wouldn't work.